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Beth Cavener Vimeo

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I didn't learn to trust people even as a little kid I used to characterize make snap judgments turn people into caricatures sound like they really were to my work it's why I was eating an animal body to portray something that's intensely human I wouldn't say that I've had a good time show me my inner self now I'm I blamed everything around me it wasn't until I got older that I started realizing that those were self-imposed states of being that I had to to find my own way out of that Forest a lot of my work is about loneliness it's one of those darker places that I'm comfortable with even though I'm not happy when I'm there but sometimes being lonely is easier than being scared earliest memories I wanted to be a scientist I want to be just like my dad and he taught me from a really early age to ask questions over and over again and taught me that that was an intelligent way to dissect the world I mean asking why you're lonely is not a very good question asking why you haven't found a more intimate relationship with your partner or why you pushed this particular person away those are better questions and then deeper and deeper and deeper use animal bodies to encapsulate some sort of human emotion or idea these are portraits of people there's parts of their bodies that don't belong there either please call her bones are in belly buttons there's human genitalia plus just the gestures in the way that they're expressing themselves is completely off-kilter with anything that's more Primal it's all very self-conscious and self-reflective I might take an emotion like fear or aggression and I'll spend a whole two year. Designing maybe six to eight different characters at all dealing with fear and aggression but in their own really private the process I created is something that I love its intense it's so over-the-top it's a problem large land necessary but it's how I enjoy thinking and working through these questions that were the basis for the pieces in the first place I've been married for almost 16 years and had a great partnership in my previous has been but I wanted to be a mother so that meant leaving that relationship and doing it on my own that's what I thought for a while and then Alessandro's like you don't maybe on your own and we both really really wanted to be parents so we already had this great friendship in an intimate understanding of who we were as artists and in the fact that we both wanted to raise a child together just really made for incredible beginning to a relationship so we jumped off that cliff and landed with both feet only has an amazing little guy named Niccolo the people who are close to me worry about the amount of time I spend inside of my own head talking about my own loneliness or feelings of depression or anxiety or self-doubt they're not good enough that my work isn't good enough I don't like the way I look you know all those things and I I really tear myself apart over them that tearing myself apart is part of understanding and coming eventually a piece with it and I have to say this thing I'm most grateful for on a day-to-day basis now is that I have some is more important than myself and my life

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